I Named My ‘Inner Critic’ Bertha

ACT or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, one of my favorite therapeutic constructs, teaches us a lot about thought defusion.  What is that? Thought defusion is a therapeutic tool that helps us to separate thought content from oneself as a person. When I do thought defusion, I am de-fusing myself (little old me) from the content of my thoughts (what’s for breakfast? I’m hungry.)

Let’s give an example first about fused thoughts, and then go back to defusing thoughts. In thought FUSION, I may unquestionably state to myself about myself; “I am a loser.” In thought FUSION, I believe it. I am it. It is me.
Now, let’s imagine I tell myself; “I’m having the thought that I’m a loser.” This is a conscious choice to both change the language and notice the random thought I’m having as separate from myself as a person. I am not it and it is not me. It’s just language. This is thought DEFUSION.

Real Client Example:

One of the very best examples I have of thought defusion is something one of my clients created on her own. [She has given permission to share this story with you all.]  She decided to name her ‘inner critic’ Bertha. This proved to be a very powerful tool of thought defusion for her. She would tell me things like “Bertha is tearing me down again, but I’m learning not to listen too closely.” Or “Bertha’s telling me all of the creative ways I might fail, but that just reminds me to review what’s working.”

On her last day of therapy, she told me “Bertha will always be there, and I know that now. She’s just a lot smaller and a lot less scary than before.” My client was actively pursuing a new relationship with her thought content throughout the therapeutic process. The separation became clearer and clearer as she used this tool and practiced defusion over time. She was able to come to the understanding that she is NOT the same as her thoughts. She was de-fused (as much as one can be. We’ll all slip up from time to time and find ourselves fused again. Such is life. But now we know how to, and even more importantly that we CAN, de-fuse.)

Naming our inner critic is valuable because we’re not discounting that negative thoughts exist – sometimes they deserve to be heard or acknowledged. But what we are doing is giving wiggle room for those negative thoughts to not be automatically assumed true.  When we name our inner critic Bertha (or any other name to our liking), we’re growing our understanding about how we relate to our thoughts differently. This gives more and more room for other thoughts to flourish. Ones related to self-confidence. Honest appraisal. A ‘why NOT me?’ attitude about accomplishment and positive change. And over time, we’re also changing our behaviors because the voice isn’t so insistent, demanding or powerful that we feel we CAN’T do things.

How would you use thought defusion?  How do you relate to the idea of naming your own inner critic?